The Distinction Between 'Everything Happens for a Reason' and 'There Are No Mistakes'

In the midst of suffering, the phrase "everything happens for a reason" can feel like a slap in the face. It’s often said with good intentions, but it can come off as dismissive or minimizing. Last night, a participant in our Spiritual Sobriety program brought this into sharp focus as we discussed powerlessness.

What if, instead of trying to explain suffering away, we began to meet it as it is? Not to condone or excuse it, but to come into right relationship with reality itself. This is what the teaching of ‘no mistakes’ invites. It’s not saying that pain is deserved or part of some grand cosmic plan. Instead, it’s saying, “This is what is happening.”

When we let go of trying to control the narrative or justify the suffering, we open to a greater intelligence, a way of responding that isn’t rooted in reactivity or denial but in presence and alignment.

That shift — from control to observation, from managing reality to meeting it — is the essence of spiritual sobriety. It’s not about acceptance as resignation; it’s about acceptance as right relationship, the doorway to a higher way of being and responding.

What would it mean to stop trying to explain suffering away and instead lean into presence with it? This is where true transformation begins.